=) =( =/

So i'm uber excited i got a distinction for my storyboard. I thought that would have gotten a credict or something. andandand 13 outta 15 for ndpw assignment2! WOOTS! imma freakin nerd.

Grades aside, i think i've become more mean and honestly i hate myself for that. I dunno if you have noticed, but from the not bitchy chloe has become a bigger bitch than she could handle. Bitches become bitches and people like them. Most of all, they love themselves.

I don't. Everytime i say something mean, i feel guilty. But why can't i contain it?

Do i dare blame the new environment? The new college? The friends? The people i see? The people in college? They're all the contributing factor to the change in my character. But if i dare point my finger at them, i'll have three other fingers pointing back at me.

One saying "you're a freaking chameleon, changing according to your environment and surroundings" another finger saying "you're a freaking poison ivy, poisoning the people around you yet clinging onto a wall because you have no backbone" and the other saying "you're a freaking pearl, enclosed in your own shell, kononnya shine but people wear you and listen to you because you are 'reliable' just like a classy necklace but in actual fact they're just obliged to"

Freak.

Me. Freak. Not you.

Ugh.

Springboards.

Sometimes i don't know who am i already. I have totally let go one of my springboards because she let go of me first. The other 3 have their lives to live...like any normal human being. One has found someone she loves dearly, another decided to live a life totally against my own principles. and the other one...we are only able to meet up 2 or 3 times a year due to our hectic schedule.

I don't know where this post is heading. I hope you don't read it. The purpose of signing in today is to share my joy of getting a Distinction for my storyboard and to describe to the future me how I would love my condominium in the city where i would...never mind that.

I can't even write anymore. The vocabulary capacity in the brains has shrunk.

I don't know how talking about my character led to talking about springboards and vocabulary. Solemn, Confused and WTF posts are hardly posted online but i couldnt contain it anymore.

Goodnight all!=) I'm such a nerd.